Still: A Year Later

Last year this time, I had no idea how applicable my Christmas letter was going to be.  I had written it with the theme of "Still," playing with the word as a "life is still the same" as well as the idea of the still of Christmas.  As I addressed the letters, Maggie was beginning her ordeal with macrophage activation syndrome, but we didn't know it then.  In less than two weeks, she went from being a normal, bouncy 15 year old to having a fever and a slight rash to being intubated, sedated, and on a ventilator, fighting for her life in the PICU at DeVos Children's Hospital.



And there was nothing I could do but be there.  I spent a lot of time being still.



And stillness characterized much of the months as she slowly began to recover.  To avoid the virulent strains of influenza, we hunkered down at home, emerging only for physical therapy or blood tests. We missed church and school activities.  I went for a month without entering a grocery store, thanks to the generosity of friends and Ray shopping for us.
I'm still working on the lessons God is teaching us through this.  Maggie is still recovering-her stamina isn't what it used to be. I am still learning how much we can reasonably expect to get done and participate in. For her, I think this is the hardest part now-not just the fear of this coming back, but the way it brought her forward momentum to a standstill.
God is still on his throne and working all things together for his good. Resting in that is the key to my spirit being still.