Judy

Three years ago today, I lost a friend, scrapbooking buddy, and Titus 2 mother in law.  My children lost their grandma.  My husband lost his mom.  My father in law lost his soul mate, confidant, and helper.  Judith Ann Berthelsen Olander joined her mother, our unborn child, my mom, and many others in the presence of our savior.  The scenes from that day are indelibly printed in my memory—the phone call from Tim, the anguished cry from my husband as his dad said that his mom is with her Savior, telling our children that they have lost yet another grandmother, packing for the trip, the emails from my sister in law, wondering if and how my brother in law would be able to return from Iraq.  The tears still come readily.

Like all of us, she wasn’t perfect, but she extended grace and love to all who entered her circle.  Her prayers enfolded us.  She loved all of us unconditionally, even when I messed up her kitchen or forgot to send pictures of the kids each week.  She kept an impeccable home and taught me the joy of organization and structure out of chaos.  She celebrated the coming of our first child when others (including me sometimes) were questioning the wisdom of being pregnant 3 months after getting married.  She remembered what my sister in law and I liked to eat when were pregnant, having snacks on hand to satisfy those cravings.  She kept a file on all who were special, with recipes, favorite colors, meals, events, letters.  Like all relationships, she and I knocked heads sometimes.  I would give anything to hear her lovingly and graciously argue with me…

 

I have a hard time still, wondering why God would choose to take both of our moms so close together (9 months).  Why my children have to go without grandmothers.  He has, and will continue to, hold us close and has provided for us in the grief.   There are times when I wish them both back.  Yet, even that day, I remember praying that this wasn’t true.  Immediately I realized that if it were, that if she was truly in God’s presence, how could I pray that she come back to this sin and pain filled world.  One of our friends, after watching our kids while we packed for the trip to WI for the funeral, said that she wondered what Judy was doing at that time—greeting family, holding our unborn baby that we lost…  Her husband replied that she was probably speechless, bowing at the feet our Lord.  Of all the many things people said over that week, that alone had so much comfort. 

Losing both their grandmas has made heaven so real for my kids.  They may not understand completely,  but they have such a hope, a desire for Christ to return, for the new earth, for no more death, sorrow, cancer, brain tumors.  Someday we will all bow at the feet of our Savior, worshipping together.  What joy that will be.