Yesterday I did something that permanently takes me out of the running for Mommy of the Year, and probably Wife of the Year too. Backing down the driveway, I drove over my (just turned) seven year old’s bike. Then, without thinking, I drove back over it, as I didn’t know what I had hit and it must have made sense to just start over. As I did, the (brand new) tire ran over the bolt on her back wheel. The sound of air escaping a brand new tire. I wanted to burst into tears. My father-in-law was standing there, a distressed look on his face, so I couldn’t cry.
Then grace started.
1. He gave me the keys to his car so I could still take the girls to ballet. Me. The one who just wrecked a bike and a tire. Now that took some courage and faith.
2. He smiled and said, “At least it was just a bike.” Just a bike. Like it was a pop can or stick. It wasn’t a life or a limb. I needed that reminder.
3. When I got home, he greeted me with “Good news, the new tire won’t cost you anything to replace, thanks to the warranty.” He had removed the flat, put on the temporary “donut”, and inflated it already, along with calling the tire store and ordering the replacement.
4. Today, before he left, he pulled me aside and said, “I looked over the bike and it is wrecked. I’d like to replace it.” What grace. Someone took one of my mistakes and is bearing the consequences. Hmmm, sound familiar?
All my life I’ve felt responsible to fix everyone’s mistakes and make it all better. In the process, I’ve attempted to live as safe as possible so I wouldn’t have any messes to pick up. I’ve attempted to control my children and my world as minutely as possible to keep me looking good. And yet, I fail. All.the.time. And so I’m left with a running defense in my head of why supper isn’t ready on time, again. Why the ironing didn’t get done. Who didn’t do this therefore I couldn’t possible do that.
But I don’t need excuses. No defenses. Grace. God’s strength and gift of righteousness in Christ. If I simply rest in this, I will stop pursuing others’ approval, stop worrying about what my public persona is, and be free to simply love. It isn’t about me, it is Christ.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.
